Thursday, April 20, 2006

A somewhat compromising position..

I was in my local Maitama pharmacy half an hour ago, my trousers half down with a nurse about to inject Paluther into my backside (the malaria persists), when I heared what I assumed to fireworks. In my malarial half-headedness I thought 'fireworks - how nice, someone is celebrating.' The nurse's body tightened and she turned to the window. It was armed robbers. Dread suffused my being: a half undressed oyinbo - what rich pickings for desperate men - I imagined. Two more shots went off and I suspected the robbers would be coming into the pharmacy in a few seconds. Then we heard a screech of wheels. All in the shop heaved a collective sigh of relief; it was armed robbers finishing a 'job' and making an exit. Apparently Abuja is being seriously hit by armed robbers at the moment.

21 comments:

St Antonym 9:32 pm  

Holy canoli!

Olorun l'o yo e, Jeremy. Won ba ji e l'oko lo!

Stay safe my friend. This should teach you not to just drop it anywhere. :)

the flying monkeys 9:57 pm  

Hi Jeremy,

"...a nurse about to inject..."

My late dad suffered malaria in 1983, and was treated with an infected needle, resulting in infection (hep. B and yellow jaundice, damaging his liver). He almost died and was hospitalised for just under 3 months.

Please be very careful in terms of receiving medical treatment in Nigeria.

Although we have never met, and may never meet...but somehow feel obliged to tell you this.

Precautions:
Mobil anti-insecticide...
Netting on windows...
etc. But am sure your Nigerian partner has this under control...

Take care.

Akin 10:58 pm  

Shocks! Jeremy! That is rather scary stuff.

I am really sorry about that episode and I truly can empathise.

I have my own skirmishes in Europe, but that for one, vindicates my having left Nigeria and not having returned; not for a day for a long long time.

That is my major gripe about Nigeria and it makes the other newspiece about being taken off the International Financial Action Task Force (FATF) blacklist hardly worthy of mention.

Without security of life and property what is the point of being off a blacklist, living in fortresses that rival Fort Knox and not being able to get around for the fear of car-jacking?

I relate my own experience substantially in my blog.

Anonymous,  11:01 pm  

Thank goodness they sped off and didn't decide to come into the pharmacy...haba! @ st antonym, you are hilarious!! For real, Olorun lo yo!!!LMAO

Akin 11:11 pm  

I just read St. Antonym's Yoruba comments again.

Talking about herbal remedies, one does wonder what an oyinbo's crown jewels would fetch on the market and what ailment the babalawo would suggest it cures.

St. Antonym must be that erstwhile Devil's Advocate - utterly, utterly shocking - I am speechless.

Kayode Muyibi 11:57 pm  

If I may suggest, I think you need to work on malaria prevention techniques rather. I dont think healing medications is really the answer....

And on the issue of armed robbers, na wa o. I wish you a safe stay in Abuja. It seems it is shifting from Lagos to Abuja, pathetic....

Nkem 3:15 am  

Notice how most comments are about malaria first, and then armed robbery second. One can't control whether they get robbed or not, but can take precautions to prevent malaria. Isn't Nigeria interesting?

Anonymous,  7:53 am  

I had persistent malaria last year and I tried different drugs all managed to suppress my immune system. This year I have had malaria, and I haven't touched orthodox medicine - agbo all the way for me. I haven't had malaria since. The thing about herbal remedies is that you have to take them for quite a while before they really kick in. My guess is that the drugs you are taking are resistant to the malaria. Maybe you should get out of Nigeria (malaria zone) for a while and realign yourself. Then start with the prevention (there are some herbs you can take once a day against malaria).

Sorry to hear that you did not became a victim of the armed men. Unfortunately, it is going to get worse. Even in Abuja. Go well.

translating st antonym,  8:18 am  

Olorun lo yo e, Jeremy. Won ba ji e loko lo!

God saved you, Jeremy. They would have stolen your penis!

ayoke,  12:20 pm  

Sorry oh! So, Abuja is gradually becoming like Lagos? 'Pity...

Akin 12:48 pm  

Discretion is the better part of valour, how could some translators be lacking in such graces?

St Antonym 2:27 pm  

Akin, ab'o ri nkan?

Eniyan ko gbodo fi gbogbo enu s'oro.

The translator was generous in attempting to provide a service, but what's broadly comical in Yoruba might sound more than a little crass in Geesi.

Styl Council 3:09 pm  
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Styl Council 3:11 pm  

Oluwajeromy!!! anan mi ata ta!! Oladeji...Oko egbon mi ale e lo mi...!!! Mo dupe mo tun ope da!!! Gosh how increadibly scary...Remeber the last time this happenend to us back in Lagos?...Even then I was more worried about the armed robbers' illogical presumption of oyinbo = dollars!..and what that may lead to! Like now we were also lucky enough that the almighty granted us an escape route!!!
Oluwa seun! Love and kisses!

the flying monkeys 3:12 pm  

Akin and St Antonym, I would agree. Ki i se gbogbo gbaaguda ni a gbodo fi bo enu.

Akin 3:57 pm  

Oluwajeromy, Oladeji, now, those are names of affection; I feel warmth tinged with a bit of my self-afflicted jealousy.

Àdúrà nlá ní kí a ma gbà, kí a má rìn sí enu àwon asebi. (We have to pray that we walk not into the path of evil-doers)

Sisí-oge, ó dí owó yín o.

As for the translator - à fàì j'óbè rí, ní nmúni jépo sáyà.

'Nuff said.

the flying monkeys 4:23 pm  

In total agreement with my brother Akin

"Àdúrà nlá ní kí a ma gbà, kí a má rìn sí enu àwon asebi."

ASHE

ayoke,  4:38 pm  

eh eh, st antonym, ta l'o daa gbogbo oro yii si'le?

the flying monkeys 5:40 pm  
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ilọsiwaju işẹ Ogbeni Weate lori kọmputa yi lọjọ iwaju lo se pataki...,  5:42 pm  

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lọjọ iwaju lo se pataki...,  5:44 pm  

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