On regional accents....

Perhaps the worst accent in the history of human languages, anywhere in the world at any point in time or space, is the Cannock accent. It is objectively and scientifically terrible. Linguistics departments should research how this dead-end-to-nowhere accent has managed to survive, despite obvious socio-Darwinian defects (who on earth would want to marry into it?). The mournful-yet stupid-cadences of this whiny brogue impose a tragic framework of general stupidity upon the people subjected to it as part of their upbringing. For a baby to yawn in a Cannock accent is for that baby to yawn just a little less intelligently than babies elsewhere on the planet. There has never been a national TV advert featuring a Cannock accent, nor will there ever be.

For those unaccustomed to the Cannock accent - think Brummy but way way worse. The clip above is a nice example. The fact that 'clever Paul' has filmed himself showing off his Ford Escort Ghia and manoeuvering his way out of a multi-storey car park in Cannock says it all. Paul would make a wonderful comic character for Sasha Baron-Cohen I reckon...