Thursday, September 06, 2007

Kitu Kizuri

A magazine for African women. Here's a sample article - "Advice from African married women." (thanks FO for the link):

Life they say is a journey but it appears that for single African women over the age of 30, life is a marathon. Like many married women, I have often watched with shock at how my single friends over
30 (with strong intentions to marry), fail to see the abundant ‘diamond in the rough’ type of men at family parties, weddings etc. In order to help our single sisters figure out the game of love, we
gathered advice on what they should do from African women who are married and often see what the single sisters don’t. Here is what the married women had to say:

1) Don’t focus on the Exterior-------LOOK INSIDE......DEEP INSIDE.....If he is short....they have shoes to fix that problem. If he does not dress well....don’t worry you can fix that with time. If he
says, ‘shicken’ instead of can teach him the correct pronunciation or change yours to ‘shicken’ as well. Focus on his character, his ambitions and his principles. These will be good
indicators of his suitability as a mate.

2) Broaden your horizon -------- Ladies let’s be realistic, you are now living in the Western world. There are a ton of good men that are not necessarily from your tribe, village, country or race. Be
open to the possibilities.

3) Step out of the Box ------------ Have a social life beyond your job. You cannot be found if you constantly work or stay home.

4) Drop the Defensive Attitude ------You are the Woman and He is THE MAN.

5) Don’t look for Mr Ready Made--------------Be willing to start from scratch together.

6) LEAVE OUR MEN ALONE -------- Appreciate from far what hard work and time we have spent to get our men to where they are now.....and aim to do the same with your own man....not ours.

7) COOK - Men have not changed much since creation. The basics still work quite well for them. That being said....COOK....and make sure its what he likes to eat.

8) Know your Competition - Ladies, past 30 eh, there is no need for ‘shakara’ also known as pretending. If you want to talk to him, pick up the phone and call. At this age your competition are women
between 21 to 25 and trust us....they are go getters.

7) Know when to UNLEASH the Nookie - Should you sleep with him on day one or should you sleep with him after 9 months? Our panel of married women all had different stories with different outcomes.
Only you can determine when the time is right but it is extremely important that the nookie be part of the TOTAL package you offer (cooking, strong listening skills, good manners etc....) and not a
side dish.

8) Establish Yourself as a Unique Brand - What is your story? Who has influenced your life? What is important to you? What inspires you? Why should he pick you? Knowledge of self will increase self
confidence thereby making you more attractive.

9) Forget the night clubs----------- You will not meet him there. So don’t bother.

10) Know when to say.... ‘to the left, to the left’ - - - - - You cannot date a man forever. If you have been seriously dating or living with a man for two years and no mention of marriage has come
up.....stop wasting your time with him. End the relationship. Move on.

11) Diversify Your Social Life ---- Keep yourself busy. Get active in the community, expand your horizon. If you are Nigerian, don’t just attend Nigerian events or events held by your village
association in America. Make friends with other Africans as well and attend their events.

12) Mail Order Groom ---- Sometimes taking a vacation and visiting home might just be the best way to find your spouse. Your nagging relatives may have found the perfect mate for you, so do give this
option a try.

13) Be Patient - Don’t get desperate and don’t ask questions like, ‘so where is this going’ on the second date. Take your time.

14) Set Goals for yourself and accomplish them while you wait.


Angela Ogbolu
Kitu Kizuri


Isi 11:18 am  

nice! but what is the meaning of kitu kizuri?

Seke,  11:29 am  

This is the most entertaining thing I've read so far today (granted, the day is young). That said, the advice presented here is pretty standard stuff and I'm sure all single&searching Nigerian (as well as a lot of African/Black) women over 25 have heard the same thing in one form or the other.

lola,  1:04 pm  

Are these for real?

If he says, ‘shicken’ instead of can teach him the correct pronunciation or change yours to ‘shicken’ as well.

Drop the Defensive Attitude ------You are the Woman and He is THE MAN

It's a shame. Nigerian women don suffer. All in a bit to get a man, you should start speaking bad English...

MsMak,  3:12 pm  

"Teach him the correct pronunciation or change yours to 'shicken' as well". LOL! I'd like to see the writer go to a dinner party and say 'shicken' at the table with a straight face!

Seriously, the problem i've found with 'advice' like this is that while there may be genuine merit to some of them, they are usually mixed in with the riduculous.

The same way you should not go into a serious relationship thinking you can fix/change/save/cure a person from from their issue (pronunciation, infidelity, smoking, etc...), you should not go about changing who you are to meet someone else's standards. After marriage nko? You cannot pretend forever!

That said, i really like #'s 2, 3, 5, 6, 8("establish yourself as a brand" - i like a lot!), 11 and 14.

Anonymous,  4:46 pm  

Methinks the writer is the one to toe the line of the advice she is dishing. She is insecure so she has produced this magazine as her sincere (insincere) way of helping black women. Do u need to warn women to leave your husbands alone?........if you are secure about the relationship/life you have built with your man, do u need to explicitly warn women to keep away?

4 Christ sake how can one change one identity, preferences, tastes all in the bid to get married?.........Abeg na by force?

Please focus more on how a woman can realize her full potential with or without a man, instead of making how to catch a husband as the sole topic of your magazine……..haba !!!!! Na wetin?

Anonymous,  5:04 pm  

Unfortunately dear Anonymous at 4.46pm, Na by force o!. You're probably not yet in the age range that this article speaks to, so you can't understand the serious oppression from within and especially from without that 'older' single ladies suffer in our society.

As for those who are successful in 'snagging' one eventually, most aren't so befuddled with their success as to think that things with Mr. Shicken will be rosie posie from then on. The older you get, the more pragmatic, which means all the articles in this advice list should be taken quite seriously, humorous or not.

Good luck hunting y'all.

Lanre,  5:39 pm  

Thank you Jeremy for posting this RIDICULOUS article, it's hilarious! What a mish mash of rubbish. I'd never heard of this magazine before, but I'll be sure to tell everyone I know just how ridiculous it is! and to think, some people really believe that this is journalism!!

Repeat: Nigerian women don soffa!
(i think that's the more 'appropriate' spelling)

Tope,  5:54 pm  

How about you write an article to help married Nigerian women escape abusive, controlling and hopeless marriages? I think we (over 30 single girls) have heard more than enough advice, so now we know what to do..there is an untapped market out there, work on it, eh!
I bet half of these women dishing out the advice are just smiling for the pictures and praying their husbands shut up when they go out, instead of 'shanting shicken and shair' at the parties.

MsMak,  7:08 pm  

re: Tope

Very true! I just did a small clap for you here o jare...

Anonymous,  3:46 am  

abeg jare!
am married, but i must say the funniest part of this is #10. " to the left to the left... i felt like getting up to dance sef.
but wait oh, u really dont have to. what is the rush? 'rush' rush remember? was it Paula Abdul? marriage is work! and God has given us the right to choose. therefore whoever we decide on, we must be ready to carry on with their vision + ours (together). so if u prefer siken to chicken na your choice!

Anonymous,  10:36 am  

Perhaps the Editor will learn to listen to some single voices like Jerusalem's. She's developed a cult following based on her blog. We're not quite sure who she is. We think she's Nigerian. Others think she's from another African country. Either way, her blog makes interesting reading

Blue 1:51 pm  

I didnt read the whole article, but i read enough. My question is after you have snagged mr Shiken, what next?

Anonymous,  3:51 pm  

LOL @ anonymous 10:36am

stop trying to sell YOUR blog!

Anonymous,  5:24 pm  

Sorry late with this

Kitu Kizuri is swahili - 'something good/nice'.

With a load of crap.

" LEAVE OUR MEN ALONE -------- Appreciate from far what hard work and time we have spent to get our men to where they are now.....and aim to do the same with your own man....not ours"

How about chain your men!

Saymama 12:08 am  

what a joke. I mean..look at the awful cover for goodness sake.

mario,  2:10 am  

God bless Swahili women, they are so peaceful,very calm and down to earth they don't have 'problems' like their Nigerian sisters who are usually overeducated,defensive,very offensive,angry, never satisfied....
the good thing is they settle down after extra 10years on the look

*run for cover*

catwalq 3:14 am  

I am so disgusted.
I am going to go read a book to cleanse my psyche of this bulls hit!!


True, true, true. WIll be passing this along to a couple sistas

Anonymous,  3:54 pm  


negresse adoree,  4:02 pm  

I am a woman, I love to read, will read virtually anything to hand. But I cannot abide women's magazines. This one reminds me exactly why.

Jerusalem 6:39 pm  

Anonymous @ 3.51pm. I guess I'm busted.


30+ 10:18 am  


All I need to do is spread the gospel of this post to my colleagues and pronto marriages popping up all over the place with happily ever after bliss

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