Monday, July 06, 2009

Scammology: Japanese bling

A 419 guy calls me this morning, caller ID hidden. He says his name is Fernandez Williams and he is the MD of Skynex Manufacturing company, speaking from Tokyo. He asks me if my name is Dr Jeremy Weate. I say no, my name is Dr. Ezekiel Ibrahim. He tells me it is so hard to pronounce and remember Nigerian names, but he gets Dr Ibrahim just fine from then on in. His accent sounds throttled, and gives me the impression that I'm talking to an Igbo guy trying to put on a Japanese-accent. I make to sound interested. He tells me that his company has been buying garnet minerals from Afghanistan, but they've heard you can now buy cheaper from Nigeria.

He wants me to be his trusted intermediary to verify prices and companies. He tells me about the MD of one company that sells the stones - Engineer Adams Okilo, and gives me his phone number. I am to call this Okilo chappie and ask him for the price of a unit of garnet (there are, apparently, 5 pieces of the gem to a unit). He needs 1,000 units immediately. My reward will be 10% commission. I request that the money is transferred to my Swiss bank account. He agrees. I promise to call him back once I’ve heard from Adams Okilo.

A few minutes later, he calls back. I tell him I cannot reach Okilo. He tells me to call him back as soon as I have made contact. I reply that I cannot as his caller ID is withheld. He then gives me his number – a UK number. I ask him where he is – he replies that he is now in London, having just returned from Japan.

These guys should be sitting in a room banging out film scripts for N/Hollywood. I’m sure they could make more moolah that way, don't you?


akaBagucci 12:51 pm  

Alas... they don't realize you are as Nigerian as they come!

Waffarian 1:14 pm  

Hahahahaha, you self!

Kola Tubosun 1:24 pm  

They still haven't changed technique? I've got a similar call once, this time about some laptops coming from the UK.

Interesting guys.

What Nigerian Women deal with. 2:39 pm  

lmaoooo. this is so hilarious. the guy never jam.

plastiQQ 4:33 pm  

LOL. They can't do Nollywood. The effort is too small, plus there is no one getting cheated in Nollywood. I think these dudes are plain lazy. They want the 'easy' money without realising that they end up hustling harder than the legit folks.

Nice seeing you at Timbuktu Media today; you are sooooooooooo tall for a Nigerian (lol)

Mike,  5:48 pm  

Same thing 2003 working on Bonny Island. Guy calls my hotel room asks for me. Has a deal to buy some chemicals from Nigeria that look like sugar cubes. That there is a guy I can buy them from and I can resell to the caller at a much higher rate and he needs my help to go and buy it. He said he was in China. His number was a Thuraya (I had one so I knew) and they didn't work in China - at least at that time. I kept him on the phone for over 30 minutes to maximise his expense - Thuraya was very expensive then. In the end I told him that he would have to speak to my partner, Alhaji Sule. He asked for the number and gave it to him 0803 419419419. He didn't flinch but I didn't hear from him again...

Anonymous,  9:53 pm  

haha...these people are good and determined. they called my brother (who was in SS3 at the time) and pitched him a deal, even set up a meeting. the idiot's (my bro's) eyes were shining when he went to meet them at sheraton, they even had an oyinbo man with them there who presented the contract. he came back telling us it was def legit coz the oyimbo couldn't be in on it. ha!

Unfortunately for them my brother told our driver ( who laughed his butt off b4 talkin some sense into my brother) and convinced my brother to set up the money collection point close to my house.

I felt bad for them when they came (oyimbo not included). not only did they get shoved into the boot of our car, they also had the pleasure of being beaten up by every worker in my house. Military ratings. Poor babies. I bet they never agreed to a meeting outside their comfort zone again.

Naughty Eyes 1:13 am  

I totally agree with the last part of your statement. I'm in a cafe right now with several of that type and it amazes me the speed with which they fake accents and cook up stories for their countless scams. One of them is right now downloading the EFCC logo to design a letterhead to give his scam credibility.
Nollywood is missing these talents. The fact that they can effectively multitask while signing in and maintain multiple IM accounts with totally different usernames ought to have been recognised by the Guinness Book of Records.

Adeleke Adesanya 11:07 pm  

What shocks me is that some mugu still falls for this scams, after all this years?. I would think that , if they were not succeeding, they might have found more useful trades to justify their efforts. It's so bad that when you put out a business advert, about 50% of the calls you get is 419.This guys buy newspapers looking for phone numbers?

BigBruv Jaga 4:16 am  

Hahahahaha u shouda wasted his call crdt

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