Wednesday, March 31, 2010

On regional accents....



Perhaps the worst accent in the history of human languages, anywhere in the world at any point in time or space, is the Cannock accent. It is objectively and scientifically terrible. Linguistics departments should research how this dead-end-to-nowhere accent has managed to survive, despite obvious socio-Darwinian defects (who on earth would want to marry into it?). The mournful-yet stupid-cadences of this whiny brogue impose a tragic framework of general stupidity upon the people subjected to it as part of their upbringing. For a baby to yawn in a Cannock accent is for that baby to yawn just a little less intelligently than babies elsewhere on the planet. There has never been a national TV advert featuring a Cannock accent, nor will there ever be.


For those unaccustomed to the Cannock accent - think Brummy but way way worse. The clip above is a nice example. The fact that 'clever Paul' has filmed himself showing off his Ford Escort Ghia and manoeuvering his way out of a multi-storey car park in Cannock says it all. Paul would make a wonderful comic character for Sasha Baron-Cohen I reckon...

5 comments:

Anonymous,  5:39 p.m.  

Haba Jeremy! Wetin dem do you?

Anonymous,  8:31 a.m.  

With a name like Jeremy, what do you expect? Nothing wrong with regional accents, they simply help to define the person. Just as Yoruba tribal marks differentiate an Ijebu from an Egba or an Ogbomosho. In any case who decides on the linke between accent and class, and why the Cannok accent is whinny, etc. Can you imagine for a second blighty without a Brummie, Scouser, Geordie or Cockney accent. Richness dear boy. By the way Brummie derives from the South West accent and somehow evolved into its own, which is why it differs from the Black Country (Dudley, Tipton, Willenhall, Walsall, all of which have further local variations, etc) I guess Cannock (including Brownhills) being a relatively new town is a fusion or derives from a combination of these, as it is populated by working class types who migrated from inner city Brum for the Staffordshire new towns. This is a bit of a ramble, but cannot be bothered to structure it, anyway Jezza, you get the koko? Do ya? Anglo Brummie Naija Man

Steve B 2:25 p.m.  

Yowse gun too fur this toime.

Obi 5:08 p.m.  

Hey, the accent is actually not as bad as I expected after you description!
I gotta think there's something wrong with his jaw tho. Maybe it was wired shut from a recent MMA fight or something =D

Anonymous,  4:43 p.m.  

I think this guy has learning difficulties, so I don't think it's fair to generalize the whole of Cannock for being stupid.

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