Friday, July 13, 2007

Becoming Nigerian..

You know you're in danger of becoming Nigerian when you start:

a) Idly thinking of buying a high collar shirt
b) Buying a watch when you have never worn one

Both have occurred to me in recent weeks. Fortunately, a friend steered me clear of the high-collar shirt idea. (where do the guys buy these anyway?) However, the watch idea has lingered. Stuck in Ajose Adeogun traffic yesterday, I took pity on a watch seller. He flogged me a Patek Philippe for N1500. I am quite pleased with it - it has not stopped working yet.

Today I had a meeting with a guy. I noticed he kept looking at the watch. I could see that his eyes had traced the words Patek Philippe on my wrist. I wondered whether he wondered whether it was fake or not. Something in his facial expression suggested that he wanted to believe it was not, but was not really sure.

I like staring at my fake Patek Philippe. It suits me. I like my superfices. But am I yet omo naija?


Adeolu 8:32 pm  

Uhm........that's some crazy deal Patek Phillippe for 1500 naira, I am sure the guy was thinking that you bought it for $5000 ..

Anonymous,  8:48 pm  

While schooling in Naija, I owned an 'omega' watch, it set me back N300. I had it for 3 years. It stopped working the day I set foot in Britain one cold winter morning.
"Well I will just go and buy a new one" I thought, and then I saw the 'real' price tag. No Kidding!!

Akin 9:10 pm  

Looks like I am not an Omo Naija then - pray! What is a high collar shirt?

As for watches - they should tell the time and hopefully twice, make time visible in the dark and be water-resistant to 10 bars.

Why pay an arm and a leg for something you can get for a nail-clipping - I suppose I was never your typical hedonist.

catwalq 10:19 pm  



Uche,  10:50 pm  

I get the watch thing, me sef i have thing for a good wrist watch, but the high collar thing? What is that?? Wait, is it the flipn up of the colar??

Dunno....pray tell.

Boosh 11:17 pm  

You are not yet a Naija but getting there...If you were a real Lagos boy, you would have known that noone buys fake Patek Phillipes for 1500 on Ajose Adeogun. Everyone one knows that you buy fake Patek Phillipes from a shady guy on Marina and for no more than N500...


Boosh 11:19 pm  

You are not yet a Naija but getting there...If you were a real Lagos boy, you would have known that noone buys fake Patek Phillipes for 1500 on Ajose Adeogun. Everyone one knows that you buy fake Patek Phillipes from a shady guy on Marina and for no more than N500...


Anonymous,  11:45 pm  

Jeremy, the secret to being a real Nigeria is to misspell Patek Philippe.

"Phillippe" is good, "Phillipe" would also do. Anything but the proper spelling.

OK, I'm being facetious. But in all seriousness, it takes some carelessness to be a real Naijaman. You're too careful by half.

Saymama 12:42 am  

Olujeremy, plssss..for the love of God, stay away from those nasty high-collar shirts. They look so silly and pretentious, cutting off the notion that you might even have a neck to begin with....and steer clear of naija guys that wear them too..!!! Ughhhhhhhhhh!!

D-laj 12:52 pm  

jeremy.....i quite like your blog, am a great fan of yours, you really do give a good mix. you are quite an interesting person....cheers

meanwhile....real naija boys and girls dont buy watches on the road

Anonymous,  2:19 pm  

I find it a bit puzzling that nigerians will demean their fellow countrymen in such a manner. Utterly shocking!
Also, it's clear that consumerism has wound it's way into the heart of the land, shattering concepts that are now strange but used to be familiar and important:like not parodying those less fortunate.

And if you can't afford the real thing, buy something else!!

-From a Disturbed non-Nigerian

Boosh 2:58 pm  

What the phlliping 'ell! Anonymous, I know you didnt just make fun of my spelling ability. I'm going to come there and "whup" your sorry oyinbo ass...


Cocktails, Cigars, Tech & More 6:08 pm  

Jeremy, you're almost there - buying that high collar shirt will seal the deal. C'mon you know you want to take the plunge ...

Divalicious,  8:15 pm  

i'm not sure that the 'high neck collar' thing is literal-i always thought of it as that sharp looking shirt with the stiff collar that never sags- lagos peeps dress really well,which is why most omo naijas have an ever increasing collection of TM Lewin,Thomas Pink,etc shirts- i wouldnt knock their hustle,the shirts are quality,does it matter that they arent made in Nigeria,maybe but i still like a guy in a correct 'high neck collar'!
ps @ anon-I dnt thnk any one is trying to demean any one here-its all tongue-in-cheek, there are a lot of non-materialistic traits that make naija people the good people they are...

Anonymous,  10:29 pm  

come Anon, this is just tongue'n'cheek surely. No vex O

Anonymous,  3:06 pm  

hello jeremy you are not naija at all and strictly speaking very much oyibo!
seriously no lagos breed buys anything from go-slow, only jjcs and oyibos do that.

Cheetarah 11:06 pm  

lol,I think you became nigerian when u had a blog fight with some commentators on the afro girl picture,now that was FUNNY!

The high collar wonder,hmm. What baffles me is how they get the collar to stay up allday,esp with Hackett polos.Let me know when u join the club!

Anonymous,  2:27 pm  

sorry jey, that shirt will not suffice. add a thick black or dark blue blazer when its blazing hot and think about changing ur language. ur too damn english, always perfect

think 'insult upon injury', 'more grease to ur elbows' and the like and u might just get there someday...

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