Monday, August 13, 2007

1000 memories: the Jehovas Witnesses

During weekdays, my sister and I were back home before mom returned from teaching at her school in Stafford. That hour gap before the Mini Metro would appear in the drive, she’d open the door, let out a sigh, undo her bra and fix herself a stiff gin and tonic, was always a space of opportunity. In the winter, the tasks piled up and the hour quickly passed: I had to get the coal and logs in for the fire (and then light it using firelighters and kindling), feed the dog and cats and then take the dog for a walk along Monk’s Walk. In the spring and summer, the absence of fire preparation gave me more time for mischief.

One spring day after school, when I was twelve, there was a knock at the front door. Two men wearing overcoats, and a woman wearing black, were standing in the street. The two men had briefcases and serious smiles, the woman stood impassive. I invited them all in. When mom got back she found us all in the living room, with my guests sipping tea and munching on MicVities, with their literature and pamphlets spread around the coffee table. Alarm wrote itself across her face in thick indelible ink. As soon as the teas were over, they made their excuses, and left me with one of the booklets.

A few days later, Mom gave me a tape. It featured an ex-Jehova talking about his experiences, and listing the key arguments against the faith. The one that most impressed me was the suggestion that there are too many Jehova’s for them all to get on the guest-list to Heaven – given that only 144,000 or so can be allowed (based on the number in the Bible about the twelve tribes, or something) and there are 3 or more million Jehovas. With this and other little conceptual snags, I felt armed with the facts and ready for battle. The next time my new grown-up friends knocked on the door, I asked them this question as they stood outside. They decided not to come in this time. The philosophical spirit was born in me.


Lekan 3:24 am  

Get ready for the "rain" cos hard core naija christians would ripe your arguement to bits with questions like

1, If you havent recieved the holy ghost then you dont know what ur on about

2, The personal conviction of the person you base ur case on most have always being in doubt

3, yada yada yada..............
4, yada, yada (and more bullocks)

(cant find the infinity symbol ergo u catch my drift)

I just think many people cant live with the idea that there isn't any higher purpose than our mother earth. That they are condemn to this conundrum happening all around us;created by few and suffered by the rest. That we are just mistakes of intelligent creation.............thus the nifty hole where religion comfortable plugs into (with its mass appeal and self-reinvigoration). I've being both Muslim ( by birth) and Christian by (the whip and ice cream)and i do say i was very open minded to both ways and condemn only its trend of fundamentalising good people. I don't know the answers so i choose to be open minded and agnostic (cos i hold to the fact that any God that would chuck many of the kind and wonderful Christians and Muslims (who took time to explore the course of their humanity with faults, wickedness , love, kindness, humility and the things life subjects us all too)i have meet in the small course of my life must be some evil jack Nicholson type sadist who meant this all to be some little joke to amuse himself with.

Anonymous,  2:46 pm  

pssWhen i joined the cult of Bikram yoga,
oK, let me start again, as some people might not realize how tongue in cheek that was..
When i began to practice Bikram (yoga), i was so obsesssed it (the sweat, the difficulty, the intensity) i tried and tried to get all my friends to practice.I invited a friend for the umpteenth time- this friend who had grown up Jehova's Witness,went to meetings, sorry ,Meetings,married an elder, found herself at 28, divorced Elder Joe and the Church, said the next time i asked her she was going to say "Thank you, i have my own religion". Apparently the only way to get rid of JW. JW.

Fred 4:14 pm  

I'm not quite sure what was born in you was philosophical, doc. You may want to check again.

Teediva 6:22 pm  

144,000. the number of chosen and anointed saints that will rule in heaven with Jesus is in Revelation 13:1. look it up. those are the only humans that will be in heaven. the rest will be on earth, or else the purpose of the creation and beautification of the earth will be lost.

i am not a 'witness'.

Bearing Witness,  7:37 pm  

I am a witness. I witnessed all that is happening around me and I call on you brothers and sisters to bear witness with me tonight. I know that many of us will not reach the kingdom of God, but we'll die trying. I know that there are only a few chosen ones that will sit at the feet of our father. Those who will sit next to father is not yet unknown. But we do know that our heavens gate is permanently closed to our brother JW. But we'll continue to pray for the soul of our brother JW and all his unbelieving bloggers.

Can I hear from you my brothers and sisters? You must bear witness to the fact that you are here and you were born in his own image. Let me hear you my brothers and sisters, say that there is no place in heaven for brother JW. Amen. Let me hear you brothers and sisters. Hell has no room from our brother JW. Amen!!

Anonymous,  8:33 pm  

Hehehe! Jeremy Weate. Very funny memory. I always just tell them I was raised christian and they leave me alone after questions like 'Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God?'. 'Cos ya'll who are Christians know that is the one way to know a true believer/non-demon.
I always thank God that it's Oyibo's doing the asking. Naija's will go ahead to ask if you are 'Born Again'.


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