Friday, August 17, 2007

Choice Yahoo Yahoo

A friend was sent this today. This is clearly someone starting out in the cyber-cafe, yet to receive full letter-writing training:

From Mr. Alex Cole.
553 East Trent Blvd., North London
London, UK.
Hello Dear Friend,

Good day to you, I greet you in the name of our lord Jesus Christ, My name is Mr. Alex Cole, I'm artist by profession, I'm a British Citizen and I base in London United Kingdom UK, I'm married with 3kids. I got your email address on the British Chamber of Commerce and I decided to contact you.

Actually I'm looking for a representative in UNITED STATES OF AMERIC USA,I'm searching for a reliable person in AMERICA to be my partner, I need someone who can be receiving payment on my behalf as my representative in AMERICA, I always find it very difficult to receive money/payment from my customers in AMERICA, because my customers are companies, and companies always like to pay with their company checks, and here in London United Kingdom UK, These Companies checks are not accepted here in London and they cannot be cashed here, So I'm finding it very difficult to collect my money/payments from my customers, so therefore I'm searching for a honest person who can be receiving funds/payment in AMERICA on my behalf.

This offer won't effect your present work, it has nothing to do with your present work, and you will be earning $2000.00 every Friday of the week,because I have many customers in AMERICA, At least you will earn $2000.00 per week as your salary, and for your information. You won't involve your money in this job, not even a dime, you won't spend any money from your pocket in this offer, and all the expenses will be from me. You don't have anything to loose.

If you are interested, all I need from you are the information's below
to enable us start immediately,
the information's are:
1. Your Complete Full Names.
2: Your House Address.
3: Your House Phone.
4: Your Age.
5: Your Profession.

If you would prefer I could get a p.o. box for my mail. Let me know! As soon as I receive the above details from you, I will have all my customers to send payments to you as my AMERICAN REPRESENTATIVE, you will be receiving cash on my behalf, Remember that you won't involve any of your money in this offer, I will take care of all the expenses ok, so you don't have anything to worry.Kindly email me immediately you receive this mail, I will be waiting for your soonest reply, Thanks for understanding and have a nice day.
Mr. Alex Cole.


negresse adoree,  6:45 pm  

It strikes me that this person's main problem is that he is a French-speaking person posing as a Nigerian masquerading as a Briton. Something about the way the sentences are structured...
I'm artist by profession (je suis artiste de profession)/Actually I'm looking for a representative (actuellement, je cherche un representant)/ London United Kingdom UK (Grande Bretagne GB), the information's (les informations), I will have all my customers TO send payments to you (je demanderai a tous mes clients DE vous envoyer...), you don't have anything to worry (vous n'avez rien a craindre), etc, etc.
Infuriating how all these pathetic aspiring criminal masterminds are automatically assumed to be Nigerians.

Jane 7:34 pm  

Au contraire, chere negresse adoree. YOU assumed the letter had something to do with Nigeria. It s not mentioned ANYWHERE in the letter, NOR in the blog. Hmmmmmm...qu'est ce que ca veut dire?

Afolabi 7:54 pm  

@nigresse adoree, good point though. Still, this guy sounds Nigerian, especially with the beginning of the letter, where he greets in Jesus' name(very nigerian, mostly when we want favours or lie). The grammatic errors in ths letter is funny. I wish my former ghanian high school teacher saw this.

oguro,  8:46 pm  

... mmmmm!!! well spotted dear negress ... huge relief to felow naija's spread the word. NOT ALL NAIJA'S ARE 419ers!!!

The address is interesting

Akin 9:20 pm  

What I find quite interesting is the address - you do not give a UK address without the postcode and rarely would you find a street named boulevard and with that number it must be a rather long and well known street which apparently does not exist in London.

@negresse adoree
This is quite an incisive analysis and definitely annoying if your deductions are correct.

Atutupoyoyo 9:43 pm  

If this moron makes any money off the back of this email, I pledge to double it.

Anonymous,  7:38 am  

i completely agree with negresse adoree. the precise thought entered my mind as soon as i read it. We have ourselves to blame i guess. We know Nigerians are great but it's not flattering at all to know that now, even foreign criminals want to be us!!

[email protected] 5:09 pm  

the fact that Nigeria is popularly known for 419 does not mean that our basic trade is 419, at least the last time i checked, it was crude oil. Our neighbours Ghana e.t.c. also have professionals like us so...

Talatu-Carmen 7:06 pm  

LOL, all he needs is their house address, phone number, and names? no bank account or credit card number?

Anonymous,  6:26 am  

@Talatu-Carmen, no, he does not require any CC # or account #. Check cashing fraud: he sends the victim a fake check, victim pays it into the account, check clears, victim forwards the amount asked less "victim's fee/cut", 2 weeks later, check comes back as bad/fake, victim is on the hook for the entire amount.
The one I enjoy a good chuckle over is those ebay or craig's list or other selling/buying websites: you want to sell a car or a dress for $400, they send you a check for $4000 "in error" tell you to take your money and send the "balance" back ( they can't send another check because they are out of the country or their assistant's uncle's girlfriend's cousin is dead, bottomline , any excuse not to send the correct smaller amount)check clears , you do as above, check comes back as fake, you are on the hook for the entire amount.
What beats me is how gullible some people are, but i guess you never know how suceptible (sp?) you are until it happens to you.

negresse adoree,  5:58 pm  

@ Jane. Neither the letter nor the blog refers to Nigeria but surely it is a given that 419 is seen as a Naija phenomenon and most readers would assume it emanated from here. I am new to Jeremania but my impression is that his blogs relate pretty specifically to this country, hence the name "naijablog".

Anonymous,  8:18 pm  

Good comeback Negresse, or rather nice try. You were wrong to assume the author of this letter was Nigerian. And you should own up to it. We are often our own worst enemies, and in this case you just helped to perpetrate the stereotype. Boo, hiss. Jane.

negresse adoree,  5:35 pm  

@Jane. You are so right. I was wrong. I must have SUBCONSCIOUSLY assumed the writer was Nigerian, even though I immediately spotted that he wasn't. I am guilty of stereotyping. I own up to it. I am my own worst enemy. Jane 10 points, Negresse nul points.

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