Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A couple more religious topics

Should the Church of England apologise to Darwin? Click here to read more.

Meanwhile, a chemistry student proves that Hell does not exist (random email today):

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor shared it with his colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandy during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Sandy kept shouting 'Oh my God.'



Funms 1:44 am  

wow... lmao.......

naijalines 1:58 am  

Oh Jeremy you just had to go and out do yourself this time! Can't even type cos I can't stop laughing.
Priceless! Loved it particularly the workings of the Sandy part of the er...equation


badderchic 2:08 am  

Im speechless.

sonofpaulpry,  4:55 am  

First ran across this three years ago... and still my favorite explanation of these revered and feared "destinations".

'derin,  8:32 am  

This is at least 8 years old but still leaves me laughing!

Waffarian 10:13 am  

Too funny...happy to see he got an A+!

Red Eyes 11:08 am  

Naijablog, what is this you have served your readers? Raw meat? I learnt eggs are better for humans raw the way caveman ate them.

I have always wondered who came first, adam and eve or the caveman? If adam and eve came first, then adam and eve were barbarians? How did cavemen transmit knowledge from generation to the next? The caveman was more or less of an animal, they ate meat raw?

Yet, I am not saying the idea of God is false.

Anonymous,  11:18 am  

funny, but i doubt it was a real exam answer.
its just one of those stupid forwards that dumb bloggers post, cos they have nothign real to say.

I'm surprised at you Weate. what next? posting a video of that starwars kid? or that downsydrome child running?

Sandrine 1:22 pm  

Hi Jeremy,
Very funny!
Take care

Jaycee 2:26 pm  

Wow. So hell has frozen over...

It must have been a really cold day in hell when they were making love...lol.

Yet, hell and heaven...and the existence of God, are not just merely postulates...

Sandrine 9:17 pm  

@ anon 11:18
Chill a little and if you want a post on Star Wars, check out my blog!

Anonymous,  10:47 pm  

@ anon 11:18. Get over yourself already. Jero.

Anonymous,  1:12 am  

You believe an undergrad actually wrote this in response to an exam question? To quote Fela- I sorry for you. This of course has been floating around the internet for ages.

Jaycee 6:04 pm  

Hey Jeremy,

Check this out: http://nigerians4change.blogspot.com

Blogroll it!

maitumbi,  12:16 am  

Seen this before. Thought it was sexist. Still think it is.

Anonymous,  12:18 pm  

"since people do not belong to more than one religion" ?: rank euocentrism. yet again nigeria proves statistical outlier. regards from alhaji babalawo the reverend me.

AnyaPosh 12:44 am  



...friggin blasphemy! but good grade :)

Jobs in Nigeria 7:32 am  

i'm short of words.........

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