Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Two scenes from daily life...

1. In the queue at Virgin Nigeria Lagos (International Airport - for the moment). A man pays a middle man to jump the queue and get his ticket. Steam slowly arises from my ears. Later, I see him at the bar in the departure lounge, chatting up a woman. Her legs are slightly open and tilted in his direction. Then, when I am sitting on the plane, I see him enter. The woman is a few feet ahead of him. He pauses at the end of business class, and somewhat pointedly, stores his bag. The woman looks back, to see where he is. He sits down quickly in the wide seat. More people enter the plane. After a while, he walks back to her, then returns to his seat. A few minutes later, she walks up the plane to him, then returns to her seat. The plane starts to fill up. A few more minutes later, he walks down the plane and sits by her for the flight. Her accent sounds vaguely American. In Abuja, I walk past her, alone, on our way to arrivals. The guy is nowhere to be seen.

Am I right in thinking he was pretending to be in business class to charm her? That's a new trick..

2. At Salamander Cafe. In the yard outside, a black CLS AMG, looking all sleek and full of torque. A couple of glam-chic looking women leave the cafe. The darker skinned woman enters on the driver's side. I am in a rush, so walk past them and start my car (a slightly crappy Honda). A few seconds later, something catches my attention subliminally. The woman is struggling to get the metal monster out. She does a 8 point turn, and reverses into a large plant pot, instantly returning it back to the clay from whence it came. Eventually, she manages to get the Merc out. People are starting to stop and stare at the spectacle. I can't help roaring with laughter at the schadenfreude of it all. There is a scratch at the back of the car, as she speeds off into the distance. Mortification was hers..

Better park on the road next time dear.


UndaCovaSista 10:33 am  

Lol @ No.2! We've all had a snicker at the misfortune of those who appear to be more fortunate...

Anonymous,  1:48 pm  

"....A couple of glam-chic looking women leave the cafe. The darker skinned woman enters on the driver's side...."

Jeremy // Did you just subliminally(!!!) equate relative levels of "glam-chic" with skin color?

Watch it, bud....your slip might be showing!

Mama4 6:07 pm  

na wa ohhhhhhhh

Uche,  6:29 pm  

LMAO@ no 2!!! That was hilarious!!!! 8 point turn, i think she needs ur honda for starters or maybe a Kia!

As for hustler in no needed game.

Waffarian 7:59 am  

@Jeremy: seems you just can't get it right! no matter what you write, you always manage to piss off someone. Hhehehehehehe. Keep it up!

naija1st 4:44 pm  

@ anonymous It's amazing the lengths you have gone to make ridiculously tenuous links in Jeremy's observations. Talk about over-sensitivity. I beg, Jeremy don't bother rising to the (un-)occasion of anon's comments.

Silence is best in this instance.

Anonymous,  8:33 pm  

I would have thought this is one post that should not grate on even the 'perennially offended' but there you go...

Back to the gist LOL.
@1 I reckon he got her number at least!
@2 "Better park on the road next time dear"
...or take some lessons

Adekunle Shobowale 12:06 pm  

The Hustler is a Chode. I think he's the one who needs macking lessons.

ababoypart2 3:15 pm  

@1&@2 - the naija way

Anonymous,  8:42 pm  

Crap! Where are all the wild-eyed ideologues on this blog when I need them to stir some sh*t?

Mutter mutter....

O! 5:51 pm  

LOL!!!! u r so funny, Dats Naija menn for you, they show off at the slightest opportunity. I wish some hostess came and kicked him out of the Business class before he got up. LOL

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